The wild Mayberries

. . .have been so abundant this year. They're also known as huckleberries, but Mayberries says when they arrive and that seems right. We have tons of wild blackberries, too - but the kudzu spraying means they are off limits this year. I lobbied hard for goats to eat the kudzu, but there's no government cost sharing plan for goats. Maybe some day.

Anyway, there's just something magical about the Mayberries and I can't get enough of picking and eating them. . . . . and they just grow - without any interference on our part! I know Paul would have thought they were really cool, too.

The past few mornings there's been a lot of moisture in the air - but no rain. And we are desperate for it, even as others are flooding along the Mississippi following the terrible storms and tornadoes. RB put a cistern on the trailer and trucked in water from his aunt's for the garden and orchard.

I think the fruit trees will live but was dismayed to see all the persimmon blossoms on the ground. Our raised beds have been hit & miss so far - but they will be successful when we get the soil built up. Trial and error - learning as we go. The cabbages didn't make heads and don't know what that's about. The strawberries look great, but we had to put down landscape cloth to kill the hay seeds (tried to use it for mulch) and has kept the runners from spreading properly. The blueberries are hanging in - the plants are strong and the Mayberries have more than made up for them this year.

Thank goodness for those great, reliable Earthboxes! Tomatoes and peppers are looking good.

So, after watering everything I was pooped and took a break. Played in the worm bin adding the 3rd tray to our new Worm Factory 360, using dirt from an old planter, wet cardboard, a bit of pumice, some wheat bran and goat poop (starter worms and goat poop courtesy of Mr. John Harrelson, 'the canjoman'). Topped it off with wet, shredded phone book pages. Each tray is a little different, but worms seem to be thriving in their new home.

Cleaned the kitchen and made banana bread with wild Mayberries. Supper included day-before chicken from the crock pot with sides of cabbage and orzo cooked in onions and chicken broth. After dinner we took the dogs for a ride - they run, we ride - in the Polaris.

All in all, a very nice day in Boston, Alabama. 5/11/11

Rewinding my clock

I've just stayed awake through the night, moving from one thing to another without interruption - calmly, slowly. No hurry needed - the night belonged to me. Unstructured, but doing things I never seem to get around to otherwise. And as dawn breaks, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction. . . . and quite rested.

About once a month it calls to me. Usually beginning with the completion of a task on deadline - and then stretching out before me those delicious few hours where my mind settles down and the constant brain chatter of 'what next' and re-prioritizing the 'things to do' list goes away - and I actually get stuff done.

It's going to be a great day!

This morning

I woke in time to say 'good morning' to a fat raccoon as it came out from under
our beach house and swam across the creek to the wetland area on the other side.

This morning I woke to the news of dead sea turtles washing up on shore in
Mississippi.

This morning I feel a sense of doom and unrelenting anger at the man made
disaster unfolding along our beautiful gulf coast.

This morning it is in my own back yard and I am in the company of much of the
world where man made destruction from war and consumption is killing the earth
and I know the earth will be better off without humans for we do not seem to be
able to stop.

This morning I would welcome a hurricane off shore in place of what is out
there.

This morning my heart hurts and it is almost too painful to think about.

Purple Martin Dawnsong

In the predawn moments of this cool, damp, spring morning - the air suddenly filled from all directions with the Purple Martin Dawnsong. And as I stood there in the chilled air, mesmerized for those brief moments, I felt like the luckiest person alive.
The Purple Martin Conservation Association

A Lonesome Dove

This morning I heard the dove before I saw it. As I searched for the source of the mournful call, my eyes located it - sitting atop a post. It moved from place to place, looking and calling. . . . .looking and calling. At one point, it landed on the railing just outside my window and I could feel it's distress. Looking and calling for it's mate. I can hear it still. The wind and storm were fierce last night. How long will it continue the search?

UPDATE: Well, that's what it FELT like, anyway. A bit of googling revealed it was likely a male dove advertising in the early morning for a mate to spend the season with. Once they find each other, they will stay together and nest several times during the season.

Either way, he was, certainly, a lonesome dove.

Things I'm leaving behind with 2007

Low self-esteem
Fear of the future
Unhealthy food
Alcohol

It's a short list, I know - but a very significant one for me. 2007 has been an incredible year for personal growth and I will always remember it fondly. And I'm not making any New Year's resolutions, either. For the first time in my life, I am perfectly content to enter the New Year just as I am.

Happy New Year everyone!

Money Angst

Just had a breakthrough over the tied-in-knots, stomach-churning emotions I've always had about money. One of those 'ah-ha' moments we all have, asking "How in the world could I NOT have seen this before now?" Of course our psychological relationship with money is complicated, yet. . . I wonder how many of us have given serious consideration to the source of our emotions about money?

I'd always thought my money angst came from not having enough of the stuff. And while that has surely been a factor at times, I now understand my physical and emotional reactions to money issues have also been as much about anticipated conflicts with others over it. I'm hoping this new understanding will help me, finally, put it in proper perspective.

More money can surely solve many issues for us - but understanding our emotional relationship with money has the power to effect our lives in ways we may never have imagined.

Perception blurs reality

I generally feel pretty good about myself - until I see pictures that leave me wondering "how could I have gone out of the house looking like that?" Adding insult to injury, any pictures of me generally get taken when I've made an extra effort toward my appearance. Just not photogenic? Camera adds ten pounds? Whatever. As a result, I avoid cameras when possible - I prefer my perception to the reality of what I see.

Now it seems I have to add MIRRORS to the mix. We have so few in our house - one on the medicine cabinet and a full length one behind a door - so I seldom think about it until I'm confronted by a large expanse of mirrored wall somewhere.

The thing is - everyone else always looks 'right' to me in pictures. So why does my image look so different than my perception? Just once, I'd love to see myself in someone else's eyes.

Achieving balance

'Adam and Eve Under Glass' photograph by Pascale Soleil, reprinted with gracious permission. Original located at 'Pascale's Wager''

. . . . .It's all in my head. No one directs me but me. Stop and think about what you need, then proceed. Follow your own path. Be your own person.

OK - I direct me. So why is this so hard?

Words failed and I began searching for an image to complete my thoughts. Googling images, I briefly considered scales and yinyang, progressed to images of bell curves and - naturally? - continued on to bell jars and Sylvia Plath. Suddenly, there it was - exactly what I'd been looking for.

If you don't think it's hard, you ain't payin' attention. . . . . .

I just want to be happy. . . .

A phrase we all use - but one that likely has different meanings for each of us.

Can we think ourselves happy? If people think things are getting better, they can be happy in pretty tough circumstances - so, is happiness a state of mind we experience when we THINK things are getting better?

I know that I can be getting on OK in life, but if I don't perceive it to be 'going anywhere', I often won't feel very happy. I'll get bogged down in day-to-day routines and find myself looking around for anything that will give me a boost - alcohol, food, sex, exercise, some new 'self-help' fix, planning a trip. You get the picture. I bet you have your favorites, too. So is being happy just about the level of certain chemical elements in our brain? It's relatively easy to manufacture short term happiness, but its effects die out very soon - little more than a quick high.

Perhaps it's the PURSUIT of happiness that makes us happy. If that's the case, then setting goals toward things we THINK will make us happy - and setting new ones along the way - should keep us all in a state of perpetual happiness. That might render "the pursuit of happiness" even more profound that Thomas Jefferson realized when he wrote "happiness" instead of "property" in the Declaration of Independence. It could even explain the power of religion - with it's promises of eternal life, streets paved with gold, milk and honey, 70 virgins, paradise. . . . . and, of course, eternal happiness.

Becoming Flexitarian (or Semi-Vegetarian)

It's been happening gradually and I began noticing subtle changes in the way I felt. I may not become a 'full blown' vegetarian, but I'm very pleased with the results of my trend so far. What it really boils down to is that I love the notion (and taste) of healthy, fresh organic food - and, right now, seasonal fruits and vegetables are the most abundant and economical choices we have left.

Let's face it - Americans have been the butt of the joke when it comes to our food supply and it's time we demanded better. I would go so far as to say the long term health of American consumers has been the last consideration of our modern food industry, but a movement of change is afoot and we can make a difference - one person and community at a time. Saying no to unhealthy industrialized farming and livestock operations is as simple as making different choices. With a little shift in our individual buying practices, we can improve the quality of our food supply. Just do a little research into current industrial farming and livestock practices and you'll soon realize that we can't afford not to demand change - after all, we ARE what we eat!

Jumping to Conclusions

How many times have you jumped to a conclusion about people or events and acted on that conclusion, only to realize later that you were mistaken? Did you own up to it and apologize? Now think about how many times someone else has likely jumped to the wrong conclusion about you.

Think about how many times you've likely jumped to the wrong conclusion and acted on it - but never found out you were mistaken. You see, hear, or read something - draw a conclusion on the information at hand and act. A careless conclusion can be benign, but can also - unintentionally - cause great harm.

Most of us would like to believe we use sufficient due diligence in matters of great importance to us and others, but how do we know? And how many decisions do we make daily without knowing how harmful the wrong conclusion might be.

It's probably not good to spend too much time thinking about stuff like this. I mean, where does it end?

Resurrection, Witch-hunts and Teddy Bears named Muhammad

The following excerpt is taken from the opening pages of SAM HARRIS' book, THE END OF FAITH "Religion, Terror and the Future of Reason"; Chapter 1 - Reason in Exile. It begins with a young man boarding a bus. Beneath his overcoat he wears a bomb - his pockets are filled with nails, ball bearings, and rat poison.

A BELIEF is a lever that, once pulled, moves almost everything else in a person's life. Are you a scientist? A liberal? A racist? These are merely species of belief in action. Your beliefs define your vision of the world; they dictate your behavior; they determine your emotional responses to other human beings. If you doubt this, consider how your experience would suddenly change if you came to believe one of the following propositions:

1. You have only two weeks to live.
2. You've just won a lottery prize of one hundred million dollars.
3. Aliens have implanted a receiver in your skull and are manipulating your thoughts.

These are mere words - until you believe them. Once believed, they become part of the very apparatus of your mind, determining your desires, fears, expectations, and subsequent behavior.

There seems, however, to be a problem with some of our most cherished beliefs about the world: they are leading us, inexorably, to kill one another. A glance at history, or at the pages of any newspaper, reveals that ideas which divide one group of human beings from another, only to unite them in slaughter, generally have their roots in religion. It seems that if our species ever eradicates itself through war, it will not be because it was written in the stars but because it was written in our books; it is what we do with words like "God" and "paradise" and "sin" in the present that will determine our future.

Our situation is this: most of the people in this world believe that the Creator of the universe has written a book. We have the misfortune of having many such books on hand, each making an exclusive claim to its infallibility. People tend to organize themselves into factions according to which of the incompatible claims they accept - rather than on the basis of language, skin color, location of birth, or any other criterion of tribalism. Each of these texts urges its reader to adopt a vairety of beliefs and practices, some of which are benign, many of which are not. All are in perverse agreement on one point of fundamental importance, however: "respect" for other faiths, or for the views of unbelievers, is not an attitude that God endorses. While all faiths have been touched, here and there, by the spirit of ecumenicalism, the central tenet of every religious tradition is that all others are mere repositories of error or, at best, dangerously incomplete. Intolerance is thus intrinsic to every creed. Once a person believes - really believes - that certain ideas can lead to eternal happiness, or to its antithesis, he cannot tolerate the possibility the the people he loves might be led astray by the blandishments of unbelievers. Certainty about the next life is simply incompatible with tolerance in this one.

Observations of this sort pose an immediate problem for us, however, because criticizing a person's faith is currently taboo in every corner of our culture. On this subject, liberals and conservatives have reached a rare consensus: religious beliefs are simply beyond the scope of rational discourse. Criticizing a person's ideas about God and the afterlife is thought to be impolitic in a way that criticizing his ideas about physics or history is not. And so it is that when a Muslim suicide bomber obliterates himself along with a score of innocents on a Jerusalem street, the role that faith played in his actions is invariably discounted. His motives must have been political, economic, or entirely personal. Without faith, desperate people would still do terrible things. Faith itself, is always, and everywhere, exonerated.

The world can no longer afford to exonerate religious faith. Thank you, Sam Harris, for this incredible book on the irrationality of religious faith.

On holidays, weddings and funerals

This past week, while much of the country was going to ridiculous lengths to celebrate Thanksgiving, my husband and I attended his uncle's funeral on Wednesday and on Friday and Saturday his son got married - so we passed on Thanksgiving this year and since "Black Friday" isn't a tradition in our house, there was nothing to give up there.

I can appreciate a good tradition as well as anyone, I think - but if this past week is any example, our life celebrations have become ridiculously ritualistic events dictated by folks just trying to make a buck and keep the economy afloat. It's very natural to want to share the events of our lives with family and friends, but do we have to make a spectacle of them, and ourselves, in the process? I say - next time you find yourself planning a special event, resist the urge to make it 'bigger than life' and just let it be about life. Keep it simple. . . .and real. Let the economy suffer.

The Cabin

A legacy - a labor of love - a life-long dream - to be closer to nature - to have a garden - to make a living.

The fall foliage at left is a Sweetleaf tree. This delicate tree is the last to bloom in the spring and the first to turn in the fall. We were not familiar with them before, but they are numerous here and light up the understory with their gorgeous red leaves.

The land has been in my husband's family for many generations and it has always been his dream to build a cabin here. Hurricane Ivan and Katrina taught us how much we were capable of doing ourselves - and me the satisfaction that comes from hard, physical labor and doing the seemingly impossible.

Many years ago I picked up a copy of Your Money or Your Life
by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin and, although I've never fully implemented the concept, I've been on the journey ever since - and two things from the book are always with me. The peak of the Fulfillment Curve - the concept of enough - and the understanding that anything more than 'enough' takes us from 'making a living' to the realm of 'making a dying'. Of course, Dominquez and Robin are only two of many who have urged us to follow this path to fulfillment - which can be as simple as paying attention and finding one's own balance. Awareness is the key.

So many things had to come together for us to be at the place we are now - breaking ground on the cabin - and I am grateful for them all. I am grateful for my husband who feels a deep connection to this land and wants to restore the native vegetation and conserve it for his son and future generations - and I am grateful to his mother for keeping this legacy intact and giving him the opportunity to do so. I am especially grateful for the opportunity to be a part of it.


The cabin dimensions are 20ft x 38ft with a 4ft elevation.
A basic 600 sq. ft. cabin with an 8 x 20 ft. screened porch, wood-burning stove and rainwater harvesting system.

All I Need

We live comfortably in an old beach cottage that might seem like 'roughing it' to many and our soon-to-be-built, small, rustic cabin in the country will be quite basic. The spot we've chosen is already a glorious campsite and we intend to keep it that way - complete with campfire, outdoor shower and harvesting rainwater.

I love to camp and get away from TV, ringing telephones. . . . and people - so our recent trip to Maine was a dream. Except the flying part. There's just nothing natural about flying. Of course, it was great to leave Pensacola in the morning and be camping in Acadia National Park that night - but I had to keep reminding myself we were in Maine. It's hard for my mind to adjust to that much distance in so short a time and I hated not experiencing everything on the ground in between. And flying has become a mind-numbing ordeal instead of the incredible experience it should be. We were lucky, though, and the flights went about as good as they can these days. But flying is essentially about time, after all, and my hope is to arrange my life so I won't need to fly anymore.

Our timing was impeccable. We had the weather we'd hoped for and, since we were tent camping in a rental car, took advantage of several incredible campgrounds there - which we had mostly to ourselves! The picture above was taken at our campsite overlooking the waters of Cobscook Bay. I didn't realize it at the time, but the population of Maine is less than a third of Alabama's. . . . . and nearly everyone was somewhere else! Acadia National Park, Cobscook Bay State Park, Baxter State Park and Peaks-Kenny State Park were all gloriously empty (but Baxter got quite noisy on Friday night and Saturday morning when the weekenders piled in - so, if there is a next time, we'll plan to be somewhere else on Friday night).

A couple of days before we left, the hard drive on my notebook started crashing. I managed to get everything backed up and went without my computer (I'd envisioned some early morning blogging in Maine). I purchased this notebook two years earlier when my first laptop died right before a long trip to Colorado. I'd needed one for work on that trip, so I spent an incredible amount of time trying to save it - ultimately having to give up and start over with a new one. Since returning from Maine, I've now spent many days replacing another hard drive and tediously restoring settings, programs and data. Time that could have been better spent, I'm sure - but I still need it for work and am now hopelessly addicted to the internet.

In the future, I may abandon many modern conveniences - including my cell phone, TV, and flush toilet - but I'm staying connected to the world wide web, no matter what!

Off to Maine

New territory for us. We've never been to Maine and looking forward to some camping and leaf-peeping in cooler weather. Haven't flown for a bit (since we got our little 'Fun-Finder' trailer on ebay, it's been our favorite way to go anywhere) and we're hoping for the best in making our connections and not getting stranded on the runway.

Wish us luck!

Another Thousand Years of Darkness?

Properly examined, history can tell us what we need to know about human behavior to avoid mistakes of the past. It's relevant and fascinating - so why do our textbooks and teachers make it seem so dry and boring? Are they afraid we'll learn too much?

If you were lucky, you had at least one history teacher who taught you to examine history in the context of our lives today - instead of just teaching you a boring succession of dates and names to memorize as you marched through time, class after class.

THE RISE AND FALL OF ALEXANDRIA, Birthplace of the Modern Mind by Justin Pollard and Howard Reid is an excellent example of the importance of understanding history - and their work breathes life into this ancient story.

Excerpt from jacket cover -

Most of us assume that two cities - Athens and Rome - dominated the classical world and set Western culture on its present course. But there was a third city that, at its height, dwarfed both of these in scientific and artistic achievement: Alexandria of Egypt. While Athens and Rome spread their influence through trade and war, Alexandria sought to conquer the mind.

This lively, accessible saga explores the birth, death, and legacy of this miraculous city. It was here that humankind first:
· Realized that the earth was not flat
· Invented geometry
· Built the steam engine
· Invented latitude and longitude, drawing the first accurate maps of the world

And when the city was destroyed in the seventh century AD, Western civilization regressed a thousand years.

. . .Here the true foundations of the modern world were laid – not in stone, but in ideas.

Yet it is a terrible irony that here too the seeds of religious extremism were sown, seeds that emerged in the form of early Christian and Muslim militant fanaticism, both of which eventually destroyed first the intellectual then the physical fabric of the city itself.

The Rise and Fall of Alexandria, Birthplace of the Modern Mind by Justin Pollard and Howard Reid

Famed astronomer Carl Sagan understood it.

When speaking of this miraculous city and its great Library he laments, "Imagine how different the world would be if those discoveries had been explained and used for the benefit of everyone". Instead, these discoveries were the guarded possessions of a few powerful men.

Alexandria was the greatest city the Western world had ever seen. People of all nations came there to live, to trade, to learn. On any given day, its harbors were thronged with merchants, scholars, and tourists. This was a city where Greeks, Egyptians, Arabs, Syrians, Hebrews, Persians, Nubians, Phoenicians, Italians, Gauls and Iberians exchanged merchandise and ideas. It is probably here that the word cosmopolitan realized its true meaning--citizen, not just of a nation, but of the Cosmos. To be a citizen of the Cosmos...

Here clearly were the seeds of the modern world. What prevented them from taking root and flourishing? Why instead did the West slumber through a thousand years of darkness until Columbus and Copernicus and their contemporaries rediscovered the work done in Alexandria? I cannot give you a simple answer. But I do know this: there is no record, in the entire history of the Library, that any of its illustrious scientists and scholars ever seriously challenged the political, economic and religious assumptions of their society. The permanence of the stars was questioned; the justice of slavery was not. Science and learning in general were the preserve of a privileged few. The vast population of the city had not the vaguest notion of the great discoveries taking place within the Library. New findings were not explained or popularized. The research benefited them little. Discoveries in mechanics and steam technology were applied mainly to the perfection of weapons, the encouragement of superstition, the amusement of kings. The scientists never grasped the potential of machines to free people. The great intellectual achievements of antiquity had few immediate practical implications. Science never captured the imagination of the multitude. There was no counterbalance to stagnation, to pessimism, to the most abject surrenders to mysticism. When, at long last, the mob came to burn the Library down, there was nobody to stop them.

From Carl Sagan’s COSMOS
See Alex Petrov's The Rise and Fall of Alexandria

The population was ignorant of discoveries taking place in the Library-
intellectuals at the great Library were unconcerned with the general population -
and rulers guarded knowledge to advance their own wealth and power-
a perfect atmosphere for religious fanaticism to destroy it all.

Who, What, When, Where and Why

Dazed and confused by too much "Breaking News" that isn’t, the daily onslaught of up-to-the minute disaster coverage and opposing view opinion pieces? All-news all-the-time is designed to keep you coming back for more, but too much of what passes as journalism today is about TV personalities and corporate profits, creating an illusion that we are up-to-the-minute well informed - but telling us very little of the ‘who, what, when, where and why’ of the story.

We must demand good journalism from our news sources. For my buck, I choose National Public Radio. NPR provides in-depth analysis of important local, national and international stories. It’s balanced, informative and relaxing - without blaring commercials. Another favorite news source of mine is the internet. I can find the story there and research it online for myself - but I realize that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. And I’m a huge fan of PBS, where 'The News Hour with Jim Lehrer' provides informed, balanced reporting – again, without blaring commercials. Plus, many local newspapers still do a great job of keeping us informed. Real journalism.

It's up to us, as individuals, to choose how much or how little real news we need on a daily basis and it's crucial to protect the variety of independent news sources providing unbiased, investigative reporting. Without it, we’ll get only pictures and opinions, packaged to maximize profits and benefit corporations - not individuals. Quality journalism is critical to our freedom.

Redefining Progress

I love our home in Gulf Shores. It’s an old beach cottage surrounded by native sand oak and palmetto, overlooking a small creek and wetland that support an incredible amount of wildlife. The variety of birds is amazing and there are always a few surprises during spring and fall migrations. Sunrises and sunsets provide daily occasions for reflection and I can even see the Gulf of Mexico - though we seldom go to the beach. This picture was taken at the edge of the creek in our front yard, but this small view belies the reality around it.

Monstrously huge condominiums are going up everywhere and the city considers this creek little more than a drainage ditch. Parking lot lights three blocks away illuminate our yard at night and block out the stars. Sirens, car alarms and jet skis are a constant intrusion and traffic often backs up for miles. The Chamber of Commerce calls it progress, but I call it death. This incredible, natural world is suffocating - as I am in it. I can’t save it and it's becoming too painful to live here, but I’m having a hard time letting it go.

The same people destroying it use scenes like this in their ads to draw people here, but visitors will soon be hard pressed to find any natural beauty when they arrive.